Men After Divorce

So if you are reading this article today you are probably a divorced man maybe just recently or a while ago ? So how has life been since your divorce, were you relieved and just happy to be out of a bad situation or are you still struggling ? If you have kids where do they live, sometimes with you, sometimes with your "ex", did you have to sell your family home to make a "proper division" of your assets and to pay your legal costs ? Are you on "good terms" with your ex or is communication still difficult ?

You know it's not fashionable, never has been for men, even in this "new man" era to talk about their feelings, it's just not the done thing for "macho" strong men to break down and cry in front of their mates even if they want to. No, men are more likely to go and drown their sorrows with a few too many drinks at the bar adding to their problems !

Let's face it divorce is unpleasant ! Even the most harmonious "it is best for all concerned" divorces leaves scars for both parties ! Men in particular are the most vulnerable for the already identified inability to share their feelings and confide in their peers for fear of looking "weak". But it is a sad fact that a number of men faced with losing everything they have worked hard for, their children, their homes and money flip ! Some commit suicide and others end up "broken" , alcoholics homeless and hopeless in the gutter !

Now this article isn't about creating a "Doomsday" scenario ! We all , men and women, have to move on in life after divorce and, especially if children are involved, do the best we can for them in the situation !

However it has to be acknowledged that most, if not all, men will experience a common list of emotional problems and other difficulties after divorce. This can range from depression, to feelings of resentment that eat away at you, to financial struggles based on the divorce division which affects your attitude to money, to a broken family with your children as victims of divorce, to problems believing you will ever find happiness again.

Also may be experienced painful memories about the past, doing poorly on your job,low self esteem and lack of confidence based on the rejection you may have experienced, problems in trusting and finding love again and feeling "emasculated" or less of a man !

These are common feelings and experiences of men after the divorce. The problem is if you get "stuck" there and not able to deal with these issues in a timely manner. The sad fact is that some men can get stuck in an hole so deep that even if they manage to dig themselves out the route back to happiness and success in life and relationships is a long and difficult one.

The aim for all people and indeed all men after divorce is to be "happily divorced", such that the divorce is not the final chapter in any divorced man's life. Just like the grieving process after a bereavement must come to an end so the "grieving" for a lost relationship must also come to an end.

The aim for men in particular after divorce is to reassert one's self belief that despite having a failed marriage does not mean that you "as a man" have failed and to reconnect with one's "inner knowing" that one is still a good man and, if there are children involved, a "good father."

Sadly some men fall by the wayside but that doesn't have to happen to you !If you can deal with your own "emotional turmoil" after divorce in as well adjusted a manner as possible, you can go on to lead a successful and happy life once more. However it is useful to be able to apply some techniques and mental strategies that will help numb the grief and emotional pain in finding the future once again.I have found a great resource that I would like to recommend today. This is from a gentleman himself who experienced the "negatives" of divorce before deciding to help his "fellow" man find a better way out. For more on this from a male "survivor" of divorce go here.