Divorced Dad's Survival Guide

Hello again

I have written a previous article on 'Go Articles' warning of the potential for dire consequences for divorcing men called "Attention ALL Men. A Divorce Lawyer's "Insider Secrets" to Win Your Divorce."

I thought I would return to this subject in this article once again to sound a warning to ALL men that if divorce is "in the air" between you and your spouse, then you really have to get up to speed as quickly as possible if you are not to risk losing everything your children, your home and money !

I thought it may be helpful to detail some of my own personal experiences to demonstrate how a bad situation (ie divorce) can become a nightmare if you are not careful. I would particularly like to highlight the situation of divorced fathers and children and my own worst case scenario.

In 2007 my wife initiated a divorce based on our marriage having "irretrievably broken down". This "grounds for divorce" can cover a multitude of sins but certainly, in many cases, is not a mutually agreed situation, rather one party deciding that they "want out".

For many people the shock of a spouse initiating a divorce can be very profound but this quickly becomes compounded if the divorcing spouse refuses any call for reconciliation or exploring any option other than divorce.

Moving on from the shock of that, it is difficult for many people to "get their heads together" at this time, but ironically this is THE time that you need all your wits about you and particularly as a man if you are not to risk losing everything including your children, your home and your money !

In my own case, a devastating divorce process was compounded by my wife, being from South Africa, deciding that after the divorce she would like to return to her home country. I was adamantly opposed to this as my children are still young. I was then subsequently embroiled in a "do or die" process through the British courts to try and stop this happening ! Unfortunately, not having vast financial wealth at that time, meant I was reliant on a form of legally aided advice. I consulted lawyers privately and was told that it would cost many tens of thousands of pounds to have even a 50/50 chance of stopping the application. This was based on the fact that the British courts are some of the most lenient ones in the world in granting these applications. So, as you might guess, the inevitable happened and my wife was granted leave to take the children abroad having satisfied the court that she could house, educate and provide for them. Also that if she was forced to remain in the country her "distress" would impact negatively on the children. Nothing was said about the "distress"of the parent left behind !

So where am I now ? Nearly two years has gone by since my children left their "home country". Birthdays and Christmases have gone by with their father being absent. In two years there have been only two visits for a couple of weeks at a time. Thanks to Skype I have regular contact over the internet with my children but that does not substitute in any way for "being there" for my children.

So why have I written this intensely personal and difficult article ? Not for sympathy that is sure. If you are a man facing divorce today I am here to warn you this is the potential reality ! If you have children as I do the consequences of divorce may be that you don't see your children ever again, infrequently over years like me or you manage to see your kids every two weeks or once a month. There may be all kinds of ongoing custody and child maintenance processes and procedures. In the meantime your own life and capacity for longer term happiness can be compromised.

Please listen to my voice of experience in these matters, this is serious. If you are a man today with children and you are facing divorce "forewarned is forearmed". You need to "get with the programme as quickly as possible or risk losing everything ! In these circumstances I am going to recommend a highly regarded resource, it is called "The Divorced Dad's Survival Guide". The best of luck ! For more on this click here.